Beth is Sick

This weekend I had to waste most of my weekend with Beth in the Hospital. (she was not working, she was actually in the hospital). She has rotor virus. This is a virus that makes you sick. She would not drink or eat anything. I know from past experience that you feed a fever and starve a cold. She had a low grade feaver of 104.00, so I made here a delicious dinner complete with steak, baked potoatoe and diet coke with rum. Well apparently that wasn't good enough for her. She refused to eat any of it. She would not even drink the diet coke and rum.

Later that day, she said she was feeling dehydrated. Of course she was, she wouldn't drink the wine and margaritas that I had made for her. So we then had to go to the hospital for her to get an IV D5W TKO.

She seems to be feeling better now. If she only had listened to me in the first place and eaten her dinner and had the drinks, she would not have been dehydrated.

Sara

Kris called me the other day complaining that her niece was teething again. Fortunately I was able to give her some of my wisdom for the ages. I suggested that she put a few drops of brandy on the pacifier. After finding out that Sara does not use a pacifier, I recommended that she give Sara a couple of sips of brandy. This little trick works every time. The kids go right to sleep and won’t bother you for at least 3 hours.

This is my dog Zoe. I have two dogs, both are miniature daschunds. I just found out that you don't pronounce this 'dash-hound' but instead 'docksins'. That's the main reason I like my dogs so much, because I feel like I know a little more than others. I got the second dog after I did such a bad job raising our first dog named Stretch. He tends to bite children without provocation. I like that word too. I also recently learned another "Smart" word to add to my "I'm smarter than you" list: Indigenous. Smart, huh?

How mad can I make her?

I bought clothing for my nephews for Christmas. I thought that would make them mad. I know that kids like toys for Christmas, so I buy them something that provides nothing but a bewildered look for me to be amused by. My goal is to tease these kids so much that they in fact learn how to be mean to their own nieces and nephews when they grow up. Dr. Laura endorses this and says it will make them tougher too. On top of that, the pants we bought didn't fit and Kris has asked me a number of times to send her the receipt so she can exchange them. Frankly, I don't find that a good enough reason to have to walk away from my tv. I would actually have to find the receipt and an envelope, a stamp and a pen to address the envelope and i just don't feel much like doing that. Plus I know it irritates her when I do the opposite of what she asks...so I think I'll just not ever send her the receipt. In the end we will all laugh about how funny it is to irritate the people I love.

Clueless

My brother Dave is so clueless. He can't seem to get his blog to work right. It took me 5 minutes to design this blog, but does he call me for help?! No.

Oh well, I guess I can't get everyone to consult me with their technical issues... but it would be so much easier for them if they did. In fact, how about it everyone, plan on checking with me first before you do anything technical, so I can provide my input. You'll feel so much better than if you waited to hear my input after you make a dreadful mistake.

So Dave, call me.